Hyperflesh Masks: I…I Just Made a Pee-Pee in My Pants.

Actually, he probably doesn’t look this good in real life. Image: incrediblethings.com

I really did. ‘Scuze me. (adjusting underwear) (/adjusting off) Okay, I’m back.

No wait. I just did it again.

Why? Because of these. Dear gawd. There’s creepy, and then there’s creepier. And then there’s…Hyperflesh masks.

Of course, I can’t help but admire the realism. These masks are amazing. Uh-MAY-zing.

Does it come with a bail bond? Image: incrediblethings.com

Granted they’re expensive — the ugly baby is $350 — but I have to think any true haunter worth his or her salt would put out the coin for this once-in-a-lifetime chance to send party guests, co-workers and innocent children directly into therapy.

I won’t be going for The Big Buy myself. I’m already overbudget for Halloween — oh hell, who am I kidding? I went overbudget somewhere around mid-March.

But do check these out. You may never sleep again, but it’s definitely worth the peek.